True Friendships are like Family

To my sweet girls,

I am active with the African-American alumni group of one of my alma maters, and I look forward to the annual reunions. I spent many years in the city where my alma mater is located and loved my time there. The city is like home and is the place that I go to at least once a year to reconnect with my close friends, sorors and classmates. 

The older I get, the more I value true friendship and unconditional love. When I spend quality time with my close friends, sorors and classmates, we pick up right where we left off – despite the miles and months between us. 

I hope you too experience this type of love, friendship and sisterhood.

I love you.

Holding Your Friends Accountable

Dear sweet girls,

Speak out against injustices – even if that means calling out your friends.

You can be loyal to your friends AND call them out for their inappropriate behavior. 

Discussing Tough Topics with White Women Friends

Auntie’s babies,

At least quarterly, I have lunch with two friends – both of whom are White women. The three of us met about four years ago and hit it off. We have transitioned from associates to friends. I am the youngest (late 40s), and they are in their 50s. All three of us are successful and educated – I am a community college vice president with a Ph.D., one is a business woman with a law degree and the other is a judge with a law degree.

We talk about social issues all of the time. However, when we had lunch one time, we discussed race, and no topic was off the table. We talked about the sometimes rocky relationships between White women and Black women, White frailty, gansta rap and some White people’s fascination with it, the use of the “N word” and why White people cannot say it and how liberal White people can, in fact, be racist. We listened to each, asked questions and challenged each other. We ended the lunch with love-filled hugs.

You MUST have these types of discussions with your White woman friends. If not, get new friends. There are many WOKE White women out there. Befriend them and get rid of your UNWOKE ones. If YOU are the one who is uncomfortable having these types of discussions, you need to do some serious self-reflection.

At this point in my life, I am VERY selective about my friendships. I have many associates. However, my friends include a small “village.” Those who are truly my friends are worthy of the relationship. Cowards need not apply.

Girls, I want only the best for you. Demand that your friends have uncomfortable conversations about issues that are important to you – and be willing to reciprocate. If not, what’s the point?